stageofslumber

Done!

2009-03-09T22:25:21Z

Mm if you'd read the post before, I am pleased to annouce that I've done it!

Dyou know why I switched? Cause LJ is pretty stringent when it comes to templates (very similiar to Wordpress) AND IT WON'T LET ME EMBED MUSIC PRETTILY.

YES PRETTILY. I tried, and it appeared as a post, and the coding was all screwed so I didn't bother and went to make a new blog in my fit of absolute rage.

Haha.

(I do like the sound of this blog tho but oh well. Out with the old and in with the new!)

http://flashandash.tumblr.com

CHANGE PLS.

2009-03-09T16:26:33Z

God I don't like livejournal very much.

Maybe I'll go back to Blogger where social-spewing tagboards and attention-crazed links AND blastingly-loud music can all be embedded so darn simply.

Heh.

Yeah, I'll do that.>:)

Now.

2009-03-09T08:30:28Z

Through sweat socks and clean underwear.

Rich.

2009-03-05T21:25:23Z

God I've got a crick in my neck from hours of playing geeky games on the computer.

I wanted to post something gay and funny but I left my frikkin camera at Tampines Mall's Swensens so damn, right?

Anyhooz, quite alot (or the lack thereof) has been happening lately and you know what's the only thing that's bothering me right now? This extra flab of tummy goo I got from a year ago when I stopped exercising and starting gorging.

Hhahaha. How extremely paramout, hor?

Ahah. But alright, jokes aside, I've been going through a lot the past few months, the past few weeks, and it's taken a lot out of me, and the people around me.

I know I don't say much about what bugs me and it takes a lot to crank stuff out of me and yes, I know how fustratingly cryptic I can sound sometimes but I guess, well, I don't have any concretely logical explanation but I can try to er, explain.

I'm probably very open, (or I would like to think so) and I'm really into that whole be free wild child thing. I see the beauty in a lot of things other people would probably get offended by but that's not the point.

Point is, I do believe I'm open, just not when it comes to wearing my heart on my sleeve.

I think emotions are one of the most fragile essences a person can possess. Emotions are powerful, you've got to admit, because uncontrolled - it turns ugly and in turn people do a lot of awful things when these emotions overwhelm them.

I guess all I'm trying to say, is that sometimes I don't like admitting that something's wrecking my nerves, because in admitting, I've already admitted I'm upset, and in that, I'm actually allowed to do and say things to justify my feelings.

I don't like to get bitter and say things I'd regret later on, because we all know that in a fit of rage, something like the word 'fuck' would sound as natural as the word ' pillow', or 'candyman', or or ... 'sex god' but I digress.

Point is, I don't like doing something for the now and pushing stuff of my shoulders and lips, and regret it a second later.

(ya ya I know I do a lot of stupid things but that's not the point.)

I guess, it all comes down to who i am, and how the only thing I like to have control over, is my negative feelings. Okaylah so I'm not very good at hiding them altogether but we all can't be perfect right?

And in saying that, I also think I've got some of the best combination of friends. The best ones, the close ones, the ones good for taking the mind off stuff, and the ones whose always got a pack of ciggies with them ;)

I know I don't say much, and I know I don't show much, but a lot of people mean a lot to me.

And if he, who I have dubbed the silly boy, ever reads this - well, you mean more to me than anything else in the whole world.

Lost.

2009-03-04T19:39:53Z

I'm so depressed.

I've lost five Sims in a matter of minutes.

Argh. And ironically, their death is so Silent Hill.

Damn.

I do.

2009-03-02T09:27:06Z

I don't wonder why promises are made.

Both empty and ambitious ones.

Promises are made with the intention of gaining something at the end of the day.

Whether it's the promise of losing that five kilos by March, or the promise of picking up your little boy after school, or the promise of loving someone for the rest of your life.

I think that 'promise' used to be a rather strong word, and I think in the old days, a promise broken was as good as a lying your way through a trial in court.

But today, people make promises as quickly and easily as they take their next breath.

I don't blame them. It's all in the ritual of the "evolution of society".

I guess in my own defense, I'm as guilty as charge with the breaking of dozens of promises, and I know sometimes I don't seem very apologetic but I've got my best intentions up to my neck when I do break one and yet another promise arises to make up for the one I broke.

Just personally, I don't think promises should be thrown around so freely, especially when it's huge, and consists of ginormous proportions of trust and high hopes.

The disappointment that comes along in a cheery little bag of emotional baggage can be pretty heavy to bear sometimes, and we don't want that do we?

I'm not proposing that everyone start scripting their whole lives just to fulfill promises - I just think that sometimes, some people who don't have the power or full intention to make promises happen shouldn't be entirely allowed to roam free with a strangling ego.

Change.

2009-02-24T18:43:32Z

Do you know what I miss?

I miss those long walks from my house to the huge, deserted hill not very far away. I miss giggling when I see Megs' from the kitchen window down my block, waiting for me in his hooded jacket and big hair. I miss going down, and breaking into that big smile because it was always wonderful seeing him. I miss swatting those damn mosquitoes, and I miss laughing, just because. I miss shuddering because it's so damn cold at night, and the mist and fog just clumps and fuzzes everything.

I miss talking, especially.

We talked about everything - politics, school, love, life, and we used to talk a lot about how we saw things. We talked about how we perceived things, and how we figured stuff as ambiguous as pain and love was like.

God, out conversations used to be so serious and dare I say - intelligent. We used to talk about the policies of Singapore and the structure of love. But i enjoyed it. I liked talking about it, I liked talking about what I thought God looked like, or how babies came about.

I miss sitting down on the cold gravel and just talking into the night sky, breathing and laughing - just two of us.

And that was all we were doing. Snacking on little bags of chips and talking about the world and life.

Back then we were still dating, and there was a certain barrier that friends couldn't cross, and I both hated and adored that barrier.

I hated it because I wanted to be so much closer than we were, but he held back - being the decent gentleman that he was. But I adored it because a sense of mystery hung in the air, and it was exciting, because I knew there was more to it.

It was very schoolgirl - the whole heartbeat racing, fixing your hair lest it was out of place, and feeling so damn good because everything felt so right.

And we weren't together back then.

Right now - we can't walk down the street without Megs putting his arm around me, or holding my hand, or kissing my head.

I'd be crazy not to love it.

Any girl would.

But you know what I miss?

Just those days when we kept that distance - and there was more conversation than there was intimacy.

But time and events have just ... become so complicated, and we've both become so comfortable in our skins around each other that the mystery no longer hangs around anymore.

Don't get me wrong, we have lots of fun and talk about some of the silliest things and I still laugh as hard but it's not the same.

But that's what I really miss sometimes.

Just that cold night, with a good friend, and endless strings of words and laughter.

Much.

2009-02-22T08:18:03Z

Omg, I love rainy stay-in weekends.

Dash.

2009-02-17T19:46:59Z

I'm going to run away one day, and take all that I love with me.

... and then I'm going to come back, because Megs, and the guys are costing a bomb to carry around.

(sighzxzxz. & i'm going to fail so miserably in the econs test tmr, that the titanic is going to appear a carnally happy story.)

Blimp.

2009-02-16T16:00:18Z

One day, I need to lock all the electronics in my house up, and pave away from the degeneration of brain cells and cellulite-adders.

I need to sit down and really read a good book. It's been so damn long since I've enjoyed a good, witty novel without the transparent blah that overcomes me every time I start reading.

My vocabulary's going to shit and I'm screwing up even the simplest tenses and grammar a ten-year-old can correct. And trust me, I know, one of the household member's a ten-year-old.

I feel sorry for myself every time I cannot ... aptly express myself in words on paper and it annoys the shit out of me.

GAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH.

Time.

2009-02-12T07:41:41Z

I'm sorry, Yusuf.

(for ditching you ytd AND your nephew.)

I don't care.

2009-02-09T13:01:07Z

nth like a good mosh dance rock out to loosen things up.

One more year this lifetime.

2009-02-07T19:18:53Z

I can't believe I've turned eightfuckingteen!

And you know what else I can't believe?

That I've got some of the most absofuckinglutely fabulous people around me.

pictures up soon, darlings. ;)

CNY noise.

2009-01-27T16:48:04Z

Hello!

(yeah i know, I sound chirpyyy)

But anyway, the long, long CNY weekend was here, and it passed too fast for me.

Nevertheless, I think I celebrated CNY non-traditionally (since when have I not?) but oh, this weekend has been like this major kick-back in comparison to the shitopia of hell-weeks I've been having with school and the piles of workload.

School resumes in a few hours, but it's s'kay.

I had a good time this weekend, and I'm hoping it goes the same for the March hols. :D

Sooo- Hazwan, Megs, and me went shooting (for like 2 pathetic shots) again on Friday night; after a rather lethargic day at school and the Public Ralations agency.

We planned to meet up the next day at like 2, which spiraled to 5, because me and Haz were always late. And so we started editing the footage we took and it didn't look too bad, I suppose.

Badabam badabom, we fnished up around 8, where we met Megs and settled down at the waterfront stage at the Esplanade and watched the Singapore Char Siew Paus, who sounds lovelier than their name.

Ahha.

After being shooed two times from non-smoking areas, we sat down with a couple of ciggies and theeeeen, we started to busk on the bridge near Fullerton.

Hhahha. I'm serious. We wailed out J Mraz's 'I'm Yous' like 87 times and it was so funny because we got mixed reactions from so many people.

Megs even made me hold up a sign saying 'We're awful but we're hungry' and he put his hat in front of us and we tossed in a few coins and notes to make it look authentic.

Ahhaha. Yeah. And and then on Saturday, we met up again for more editing, this time just with Deva and Haz, before I scooted off to meet Megs, Dilly doll and her bf for drinks.

God, it's been so long since I'd seen her. She looks lovely now as she did before and it felt good to meet up with her again after such a long time.

So so so after dinner, they took me and Megs to a cozy little oriental-themed pub in Clark Quay and the four of us talked and caught up, and and, Dil and her bf were darlings; buying drinks and ciggies for us.

Hhhaha good stuff.

One day, the drinks and the ciggies would be on us, kay dilly doll?(:

But we had fun, and I honestly can't wait till the next time we meet up.

Heh. So the next day, after another late night, I felt rather groggy but all the more excited because there was gonna be a family bbq which meant lots of food and goodies and I managed to get Megs to join us so it was nice.

Hhahah. God I am getting tired of typing.

Shall let the pictures do the talking (yeah finally! I know right?)

Hahhah. look at that silly bugger's face.

SLENGESLENGESLENGE. (which means dorkdorkdork in malay :D)

hahhha. busking for our worth.

THE SINGAPORE CHAR SIEW PAUS! ahhahahhaha!

aww don't we look lovely? hahha.

(bf looks drunk, doesnt he?)

Ahhaha. so yeah. It was a good weekend with good company and lots of other people's ciggies and drinks. A big happy CNY to everyone, and uh, a hope that school (and work) will not suck as much tmr(:

Innuendo.

2009-01-23T18:14:04Z

There it was.

On a velvet cushion it sat, brimming with glory and achievement and ... there it was.

There was no doubt, the battle was won, the war was over, and rejoice, everyone could.

Swords and armor dropped, the sound of metal hitting concrete filled the room and the walls reverberated with shuddering fulfillment.

This was meant to be.

This was it.

Knight Tan Neh Kwan stepped forward.

He turned and looked over the sea of men, everyone fidgeting and grinning and glistening with sweat and smelling of pubic and piss.

Knight Tan Neh Kwan beamed.

This was it.

The men gazed at their leader - strong, brave, courageous Tan Neh Kwan.

He was the epitome of the greatest war leader around.

Standing five feet eight, with competently dyed blue hair, bulging muscles and two piercings on each ear and eyebrow - he was as dashing and handsome as any knight could be.

He glowed with power and utter eloquence in leading a whole army of men into the raging battle of fearful, savage, brutal war.

Tan Neh Kwan.

Even his name resonated of bright glorious beams of triumph.

Knight Tan Neh Kwan took one final look at his men before approaching the centrepiece on which laid a perfectly untouched velvet cushion with gold filigree delicately framing it like bits of fairy dust.

This was it.

Knight Tan Neh Kwan walked towards the centrepiece and picked up the cushion. With the utmost care, he picked up the single flower sitting on the cushion.

Tossing the cushion away, he slowly peeled off the petals, just like the guru had told him too.

One petal, after another.

Behind him, thousands of men looked on eagerly, waiting for their moment.

As Knight Tan Neh Kwan peeled of the last petal, on the flower bud laid a single cherry.

The men behind Knight Tan Neh Kwan continued to watch fervently. Their time was soon.

And with a single finger, Knight Tan Neh Kwan popped the cherry.

xxx

Hhahhah. Ohmygod. It's been awhile since I've written a decent story. Things have been so hectic lately. And no, everything above was ... purely the figments of my imagination. I think the ending's a little shotgun but ah well. Ahha. I'll bet some people won't get it. :D

Stoink.

2009-01-21T09:07:34Z

Hahha. I really, really miss those days.

Nil.

2009-01-20T07:33:59Z

Drat. I feel really disconnected from everyone today.

Weekend sashay.

2009-01-19T16:51:42Z

I freakin' love this silly bugger.
Much, much more than he knows.

Down the road of ass-pricking grass.

2009-01-16T16:56:38Z

My God.

I need a breather.

Sway.

2009-01-15T04:14:07Z

Righty-oh. it's like 12 in the afternoon and I've skipped the first morning class.

Sammysaur called this morning and I told her I wasn't coming, and she sounded disapproving. Haha, whose the mother now, hmm? Well, missing one or two more classes won't kill me.

I've been going through withdrawal symptoms lately (and no, it's not the ciggies, though I could really use one now but I'm low on the dough) but more like withdrawal symptoms of good old fun and laughter and jolly good company.

Haha I sound English.

Anyhooz, work's been piled on like a sack of rotten potatoes and I stayed up till like 5 in the morn today? I had to rescript the uh, script, for the reshoot this Friday, BTW, a big extension to anyone who wants to join Anal Productions in their reshoot this Fri/Sat, we might or not be overnighting ... again, I know, but we could sure use the morale boost and company.

I really do hope some people tag along just because (:

Anyway, the workload is starting to put me on a frizz and I'm just ... really tired.

I'm counting down till THE 7 WEEK MARCH HOLIDAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Darn. 2 months just cannot pass by any slower. ):

Sweet dreams are made of these.

2009-01-12T14:40:56Z

I wonder how many times a day I fantasize.

Sometimes i think, wouldn't it be great if I could just jet plane myself out of this godforsaken country?

The guys and me were talking about catching J Mraz at Indon a day after his concert in Singapore because the tics were selling so goddamn fast.

And then I thought, that's fucking brilliant. Not just catching J mraz at Indon at probably a steal compared to Spore - but just to grab my passport, a donut and probably my Mac and just ... CATCH THE EARLIEST PLANE OUT OF THE COUNTRY.

Ahah. And you know what? I'm going to make sure I live like that after I hit 19. Weeeeeell okay, maybe 20. Like after a bitch of a Friday at school/work, I'm gonna call Megs and we're gonna hijack our way out to the suburban paradise out there with only our passports, and our hair products.

And you know, it'd be fucking awesome if I could pull in some good friends too, with just ciggies and flinging away our work and responsibilities just for the weekend and catch the next plane to some beach in Indon or Malaysia and just ... chill.

Y'know?

The sweetest songs.

2009-01-12T02:36:45Z

Cause I was born to tell you I love you
And I am torn to do what I have to, to make you mine
Stay with me tonight.

New Years' same ol.

2009-01-04T20:18:48Z

Damn i feel really rotten. Working up at 4 in the morn trying to race against the bloody dateline is what i totally imagined my life would be like for the next three years the minute I signed up for Media & Comm.

And the worst part is - I haven't even uploaded any damn pictures! ): I've got pictures of sleepovers and New Years' and Christmas and damn.

Well, to put a picture in mind without actually having to use pictures - New Years' was bittersweet, a toss up of love, loss, good friends, little tussles, and good old alcohol and sex.

Ahhah. Well, party's up, and I've got a little bandwagon of school do-gooders to hop on to save me from ... another term worth of damnation?

Heh. One day, I'm gonna ditch this whole masquerade and live on weed and sex. Fucking awesome, innit?

Bitch.

2008-12-29T19:11:30Z

FUCK AUTHORITYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I wna partay.

Sang on.

2008-12-28T15:12:53Z

According to your age, list down the number of things that most people don’t know about you. And then tag 5 people.

1) When I was young, I wanted to be an air stewardess but my uncle told me I was too fat and that killed me. ):

2) I bitch about Paul Twohill but secretly I had a thing for him and sometimes I think I still do.

3) When I was young, I thought that when people got married, the -whoever got them married- would say some magic words, and the wives would get pregnant. (I know no sex back then)

4) I took Chinese for 5 full academic years as my second language.

5) I swear inwardly at the people who look like they don't deserve their seats in the MRT.

6) I steal my uncle's milk and juice (IN THE FRIDGE) when I'm scrounging for a quick drink in the kitchen.

7) I practice witty speeches in front of the mirror after i bathe. Just like the Sims!

8) I used to work in a restaurant that taught me to kiss ass like a personal secretary.

9) Gay porn used to turn me on.

10) One of my lecturers' gave me an article to write on a school event a month ago and I haven't gotten back to her till today.

11) When I'm down, I can consume tonnes of episodes of Ally Macbeal and/or Ugly Betty.

12) Sometimes I envy people who aren't swayed by peer pressure, and stick to their damn decisions.

13) I had a big crush on my best friend in Secondary School and it was a she :D

14) I can eat jam with anything. Bread, crackers, tuna, meatballs, curry, etc

15) For my O' Lvls Physics paper, I only studied the first three chapters of the textbook.

16) FUCK AUTHORITYYYYYYYYYYYY!!

17) During the fourth month with Megs', I sign language-d two full songs for him and presented him a single red, and white rose and coriander, which represented love, unity and ... lust. I regretted not retrieving apple blossom because it symbolized everlasting friendship but Singapore is only so ... flowered.

Ahhaha. Merry Belated Christmas, everyone!

Oh, oh tags - Yusuf, Sak, Sammysaur, Eugene... aaaaand anyone else whose bored and stoink. :D

OH! and I found this utterly entertaining viddy on YT. This's one for you, Sak ;) (and ya'll have to watch part2! Gets way better.)